Chapter Text
You sigh heavily as you correct the spelling of your own name on the form you’ve been working on for the past half an hour. Cases have been slow lately, so you were supposed to spend today catching up on paperwork. At least, that’s what Satellite-Officer Vicquemare made very clear to you this morning as he, so eloquently, chewed you out.
DRAMA - My god, this is dreadful.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - You’re right. I have the solution. Come on, baby, open up your little stash down in the bottom drawer.
Your stomach lets out a low rumble.
LOGIC [Easy: Success] - No. It’s lunchtime. You just need food.
ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN - Yesss, sustenance is good. Nothing to remind you that you’re, unfortunately, still alive like the desperate pangs of hunger.
YOU - Ok, food. I can get down with food. Food is good.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Mmmmm, you know that little Samaran place two blocks down? That would totally hit the spot.
SUGGESTION - You know what would make it better? Asking Kim to join you.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Oooh, yes, Kim, baby. You can make it a date, maybe order some oysters. Really get things going.
VOLITION - A date would not be appropriate during work hours. But sure, go ahead and ask Kim to join.
You bounce up from your chair, eager for the change in pace, and jaunt over to Kim’s desk. He’s hunched over writing in his notebook, with various pictures of a crime scene scattered across his desk. You lean over to get a better look at one of the pictures. It’s the inside of a medicine cabinet where you can see a smattering of various bottles and bags containing almost every legal and illegal substance under the sun.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Ooooh, where’d he get a picture of your medicine cabinet?
VOLITION - Can you not today?
KIM KITSURAGI - “Detective,” he plainly states, not bothering to look up at you.
YOU - “Heya, Kim!” You stand up straight.
KIM KITSURAGI - He doesn’t respond, proceeding to grab the picture you were staring at, nonchalantly tucking it back into the folder from whence it came.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Hey! We were using that!
YOU - You start getting a little self-conscious and bring your hand up to scratch at the back of your head.
“Ummmm…” you start, “You wanna get some lunch?”
KIM KITSURAGI - “Detective, I’m busy,” he says flatly, opening another file and pulling out a witness statement.
EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - He’s feigning disinterest. He wants you to figure out that he does, in fact, want to join you for lunch.
CONCEPTUALIZATION - Oh, you sly dog, Kim, playing hard to get.
DRAMA - He totally wants you.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Yeah, he wants you to beg him for it.
COMPOSURE [Easy: Success] - Let’s please not do that right now.
VOLITION - Let’s just stick to the task of asking him to lunch.
SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - You rest both your elbows on his desk and cup your face with your hands and attempt the best puppy-dog eyes and pout you can muster.
YOU - “Aww come on, Kim,” you plead, then get up to gesture, “everyone needs food! You’ve been working non-stop all morning. You gotta take a break sometime!”
He puts his pen down and looks up at you.
Finally.
PERCEPTION [Easy: Success] - You see a flicker of a smile.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Damn, who needs drugs when you’ve got that.
KIM KITSURAGI - “I’ve been working non-stop because I’m on duty and it’s my job to actually work during my shift,” he says coolly, raising his eyebrows at you.
DRAMA [Easy: Success] - ʻUnlike you’, he wants to add, but he’s too tactful for that.
EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He’s teasing you.
INLAND EMPIRE - He loooooves you.
VOLITION - Easy now.
KIM KITSURAGI - He leaks out a small grin then sighs as he leans back in his chair to get a better look at you, “But I guess you’re right, I should eat something. Did you have someplace in mind?”
YOU - You perk up. “Yes! You’re gonna love it! The best Samaran food in town. Well, that I remember anyway. I take that back, it’s probably not the best. But it’s good!”
KIM KITSURAGI - He lets out a small laugh. Literal music to your ears. “Ok, let’s go.”
He neatly sorts his pictures and paperwork back into their respective folders then gives you a “Ready?” look. You forcefully nod and you both start heading towards the exit.
As you reach the door you hear an unbecoming voice, making you wince.
JEAN VICQUEMARE - “And where are you off to, sh*tkid?” he grills, arms crossed, but still in his usual droopy stance.
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] - He’s been waiting for your paperwork for… well, you actually don’t even know how long.
VOLITION - If we’re being honest here, probably years.
KIM KITSURAGI - “We’re off to lunch, Satellite-Officer Vicquemare,” he remarks, reminding Jean that his accusatory tone is also implicating Kim in the process.
JEAN VICQUEMARE - “Ah yes, didn’t realize,” he tries to smooth over, uncrossing his arms.
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - He’ll never admit it, but Kim threatens him, especially when he uses his full title and name in that tone.
YOU - Why exactly is he so threatened?
LOGIC [Easy: Success] - Kim is of a higher rank. Despite being a new transfer, he’s already assumed command of the biggest cases.
AUTHORITY [Medium: Success] - And he reeks of authority. Practically bleeds the stuff.
EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - Kim is taking you away from him. He hasn’t figured it out yet, but he’s jealous and confused.
JEAN VICQUEMARE - “Mind if I join you two?” he asks, though he isn’t really asking. He’s already walking towards you two so, resigned to your fate, you start sulking out the door, leading your little pity party of three down two blocks to the, supposedly “best”, Samaran restaurant.
DRAMA [Medium: Failure] - You’re pretty sure Jean’s not joining to have a good time, but you can’t figure out why he wants to come considering all he does is bitch about you front, back, and sideways.
PERCEPTION [Easy: Success] - You can feel Vicquemare’s grey eyes transfixed on your back as you walk ahead.
EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He’s trying to scan your insides and figure out exactly what the f*ck is wrong with you.
YOU - The walk is mainly silent. Kim can sense the tension and tries to small talk with Jean about work. You tune them out. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, it was a quick walk.
You find an empty booth and slide into it. You don’t quite know how it happened, but both Jean and Kim are sitting on the same side and you are left all alone, doomed by their stern expressions.
The waitress gives you a bit of reprieve, handing out a distraction of three menus. You immediately lift yours to cover your face, slinking down into your seat, raptly reading every - single - word off the menu as if this was your very last meal before you’re sent off to the electric chair.
You actually haven’t absorbed any of the words, though, because when the waitress comes to take your orders, you sheepishly point your finger at something random and mumble, “This one?”
She violently (at least it feels that way) snatches your shield/menu away and now you’re forced to meet your fate. You glance at Kim.
EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He’s uncomfortable.
His eyes meet yours and he gives you a small, consoling grin.
VOLITION - See. This is fine.
Then your eyes meet Jean’s and you almost have to double check that he hasn’t bore a hole between your eyes. You quickly bring your hands to your forehead and look down, mostly to avoid his gaze, but also to secretly block your brain from being lobotomized by the piercing lasers shooting from his eyeballs.
VOLITION - HOLY sh*t.
JEAN VICQUEMARE - “I’ve been waiting on your paperwork from the last case all morning,” he finally says.
ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN - Can we still think?
LIMBIC SYSTEM - Yes, we’re still here.
ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN - How unfortunate.
LIMBIC SYSTEM - I know. I was kind of rooting for the lobotomy.
ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN - But that’s the easy way out. True commitment means taking out the brain and body together.
LIMBIC SYSTEM - Yeah. No one would want to take care of your grotesque, vegetable body anyways.
JEAN VICQUEMARE - “Harry! Get the f*ck out of your own brain for one minute,” he scowls.
YOU - “I know,” you say.
JEAN VICQUEMARE - “You know what?”
YOU - “The paperwork,” you say bluntly.
JEAN VICQUEMARE - “Ok…and the paperwork from the previous case?”, his tone getting more scathing.
YOU - “I know,” letting out a frustrated sigh, dropping your hands from your face, turning up to glare at him.
JEAN VICQUEMARE - “Right. You know. And from the case before that?” his voice is getting louder. You see some heads turn from a nearby table, but they quickly return to their conversations. Kim shifts uncomfortably in his seat and tries to stare out of a non-existent window since your booth is next to a wall.
RHETORIC - Tell him to shove a stick up his ass.
CONCEPTUALIZATION - Or maybe he needs help removing one?
VOLITION - Have some tact.
➣ “Why don’t you shove a stick up your ass!”
➣ “Need help removing that stick from your ass?”
➣ “I KNOW!”
YOU - “I KNOW!” you yell. “Geez, what’s with the cross-examination?”
KIM KITSURAGI - Kim’s attention is forced back into the conversation, unable to avoid it by inspecting the flaking bits of aged off-white paint on the wall. He does a quick scan of the restaurant before coming back to you two.
“Look, it’s lunch. It’s our break. Why don’t we leave the work talk for the office?” he calmly chimes in. But Jean doesn’t hear him, the red flashing before his eyes blocks out all sound.
JEAN VICQUEMARE - “God, I don’t know, what’s so hard about doing your f*cking paperwork, sh*tkid?” he spits out. “You review the statements, you sign your f*cking name, that’s literally it.”
RHETORIC [Challenging: Failure] - Your ability to form counter arguments is fraying as your temper gets the better of you.
YOU - “That is literally NOT it,” you spit back. You can feel the heat behind your ears as blood gets drawn up to your face.
KIM KITSURAGI - He tries to butt in while keeping calm, “Hey, let’s tone it down, ok? We can work this out later,” but his words fall on deaf ears.
JEAN VICQUEMARE - “I’m so sick of covering for your pathetic ass,” he sneers. “Just do your f*cking work.” He huffs back into his seat and turns to the side, crossing his arms.
EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - He’s dropping his guard.
RHETORIC - Don’t let him win this.
INLAND EMPIRE - Bring up the stick in his ass thing again. That one was good.
YOU - “I never asked you to cover for my pathetic ass. Maybe you need to ask someone to pull the stick out of yours,” you realize you’re starting to rise, hovering above your seat with your hands gripping the edge of the table. “Why the f*ck are you so bent out of shape over what I do, anyways?”
JEAN VICQUEMARE - His eyes flash a vivid red and you realize you might’ve crossed a line that you don’t remember existed.
PERCEPTION [Easy: Success] - He did not like that.
CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - It might have something to do with the fact that what you do is drag everyone within a 5-mile radius down with you to rock bottom.
JEAN VICQUEMARE - He closes his eyes and takes an intensely heavy breath.
EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - He’s containing a rage so intense he’s worried he might actually explode.
JEAN VICQUEMARE - He leans over to you, quieting down, but only because he’s getting serious. “Why the f*ck am I bent out of shape over you? You? It must be so f*cking convenient to have your precious - little - memory wiped, huh, sh*tkid?” He pokes hostilely at your head while he seethes out the words. “Gee, I wonder who covers your ass whenever you feel like going on a f*cking bender because you’re too much of a no good sh*t to take responsibility for anything.”
AUTHORITY - No good sh*t? NO GOOD sh*t?? Who’s the double-yefreitor here? Who pulls rank in this dynamic?
COMPOSURE [Challenging: Failure] - You can hear the whooshes of your heartbeat in your ears.
YOU - “If I’m such a no good sh*t then don’t bother with me!”, you retort. You’re leaning over the table now, getting threateningly close to Jean’s face.
JEAN VICQUEMARE - “Oh how I wish I f*cking could, but unfortunately, all your little mishaps somehow always end up in my f*cking lap.” He leans closer to you. A challenge.
AUTHORITY [Medium: Success] - Do not let him talk to you like that. It’s time to pull rank, Lieutenant Double-Yefreitor Du Bois.
YOU - “That sounds like a you problem, Jean. You just like to make yourself a martyr, don’t you? Admit it, you want to be my savior from my supposedly pathetic self, but you forget, who’s the Satellite-Officer, hmm?” He recoils a little.
PERCEPTION [Easy: Success] - Vicquemare’s nostrils flare and his face contorts into a variety of positions as he can’t decide which expression to settle on to effectively display his hatred.
EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - Oh. He’s raging mad.
PERCEPTION - Thanks, Captain Obvious.
INLAND EMPIRE [Medium: Success] - That one definitely struck a nerve. You better brace yourself.
KIM KITSURAGI - *khm* “Officers,” he asserts, his eyes wide now. Not quite loud enough, though.
JEAN VICQUEMARE - He sucks at his teeth before baring it all. “Oh f*ck OFF. You’re so f*cking useless, you can’t even fill out a f*cking form. You can barely even manage to pay your own rent, let alone this sh*tty lunch, paying off the damage you’ve cost the RCM over the past decade. You have no idea the kind of sh*t you’ve put me and the whole task force through. If it weren’t for me, you’d be out of a f*cking job. Homeless, dead in a f*cking gutter somewhere. You’re nothing without me.”
INLAND EMPIRE [Challenging: Success] - You’re slumped against a wall in a dimly lit alley, vomit dribbled down your chin, beer stains splattered across your half-buttoned shirt. You’re semi-conscious as you squint up towards Jean while shielding your eyes with one hand from the buzzing streetlamp. Jean is standing over you, facing upwards with one hand rubbing at his temples. He doesn’t know what to do with you anymore.
DAMAGED MORALE
-1
RHETORIC [Formidable: Failure] - There’s no effective comeback after that.
VOLITION - You could end this right now. Apologize and promise to do your work.
DRAMA - Are you kidding?
YOU - “Ha. Great good all your help did me,” you snide, rolling your eyes and crossing your arms.
PAIN THRESHOLD - Your mouth is starting to taste bitter.
JEAN VICQUEMARE - He slams both his palms on the table. “Don’t you DARE try to pin your problems on me! What you choose to do is on you,” he stabs a finger into your chest. Your arms fall to your sides in response and you clench your fists. “No one else. You don’t have the right to be upset at how everyone reacts to you because you didn’t have the decency to think about anyone past yourself. God, all you do is bring f*cking misery everywhere you go.”
DRAMA - He’s right, you know.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - So? Punch his f*cking teeth out.
RHETORIC - No. It’s much more satisfying to win with your words.
➣ PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Challenging] - Punch his f*cking teeth out.
➣ RHETORIC [Formidable] “Well, I’m giving you an out.”
RHETORIC [Formidable: Success] - “Well, I’m giving you an out. Right now,” you growl. “Just leave me alone and let me die in a gutter somewhere, if knowing me is so f*cking miserable for you. I definitely don’t want you in my life anyway.” You are both staring daggers into the other’s eyes, but you see him flinch.
COMPOSURE [Easy: Success] - Something shifts in Jean’s face.
EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - That hurt him. A lot.
DRAMA - Good, he f*cking deserves it. I hope it tears him apart.
AUTHORITY - So what, he can dish it out, but he can’t take it?
YOU - Why do I feel so horrible?
INLAND EMPIRE [Medium: Success] - You’re splayed out on your stomach on the bathroom floor, wearing only underwear, your face resting in an hours old puddle of vomit, mostly bile and pills. You think you hear a yell, but your mind can’t quite piece it together. Your vision is fuzzy but you see the form of Jean appear in the doorway, the light of the hallway illuminating his silhouette. He’s saying something as he slowly kneels down next to you, but he sounds so far away. You feel his hand rest gently on your forehead as he wipes away the bile, sticky with time, off of your face. You only hear muffled whimpers, are they yours? his? You don’t really know, but you think you feel a wet tear or two fall onto your cheek.
CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - Despite all you’ve done to hurt him (even if you can’t remember all of it), there were some good, even great, moments, too.
JEAN VICQUEMARE - He starts shaking his head and sits back down, resigned, propping an elbow up onto the table and cradling his forehead in his hand. “God, you’re really f*cking unbelievable.”
RHETORIC - K.O.!
PERCEPTION [Easy: Success] - Kim has his eyes closed and you can see his chest heaving. He wants this to end so badly.
WAITRESS - The waitress apprehensively brings the food towards the table. You slowly sit back down.
“Excuse me, sirs,” she says timidly.
EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - She wants to kick you all out, but she’s frightened.
JEAN VICQUEMARE - “Actually, I’d like mine to go,” he snaps.
WAITRESS - Good enough for her. She practically drops yours and Kim’s plates onto the table and swiftly turns around with Jean’s food without saying a word.
PERCEPTION [Medium: Success] - The waitress reinvigorated something in Jean. He’s staring back at you. You can see dangerous thoughts forming in his head.
EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - Whatever sadness you accidentally exposed in him has rapidly converted into anger and you can see the transformation on his face as it twists into a snarl.
JEAN VICQUEMARE - He leans over and speaks real quietly, as if a warning of what’s to come, “Do you remember? What you told me before your whole supposed retrograde-amnesia?,” he waves his hand to emphasize the absurdity of it all. “You said, you don’t want to get better, you want to get worse. Sometimes, I secretly hope you accidentally drink yourself to death. That you’ll disappear on a bender and actually commit to killing yourself, never showing up to work again. And you know what I feel when I imagine that? Relief. Bliss. Like I can finally focus on ME.” He stabs a finger into his chest as he says it.
You look up at him, a little taken aback at his words.
DAMAGED MORALE
-1
RHETORIC - Well, that was harsh.
DRAMA [Medium: Success] - He doesn’t mean it. At least, he doesn’t want to mean it.
INLAND EMPIRE [Challenging: Failure] - He’s sad*stic. He’s trying to splice open your heart and watch it pump desperately, spewing out precious blood while depriving your organs of vital oxygen.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Mmmm. Oxygen deprivation.
VOLITION - NOT RIGHT NOW.
LIMBIC SYSTEM - He’s trying to push you over the edge, Harry boy. He’s testing your resolve.
ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN - Yesss, let’s boogie on over to the abyss, baby. Prove your resolve.
JEAN VICQUEMARE - “But that’s not something you would know anything about, right, Harry? Thinking about others? How you…affect them?” he chides nastily.
PAIN THRESHOLD - For some reason, it hurts a lot more when he calls you Harry instead of sh*tkid.
EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] - He’s been holding back these feelings for months. It feels good to let them out, even if they’re harsher than intended.
CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - His frustration is heightened by the fact that you get to forget everything and move on while everyone else is left drowning in your wake.
INLAND EMPIRE - More like, tsunami.
RHETORIC - Don’t worry. We can still win this.
VOLITION - Winning isn’t everything, Harry. Attempting to win might have cost you this relationship.
DRAMA - Gee, thanks. Where were you with the sage advice a few minutes ago?
EMPATHY - Despite the constant vitriol Jean has hurtled towards you since you’ve lost your memory, you’re not sure this is what you wanted.
KIM KITSURAGI - You’ve both forgotten Kim is there until he interjects, not loudly, but in a commanding tone, “That’s enough. Your behavior is absolutely abhorrent, Satellite-Officer Vicquemare, you should be ashamed. The detective has made mistakes, but he has also made significant improvements in the past few months, of which your demeanor has certainly not played a part. I suggest you two find a time on your own to resolve this, when both your tempers have faded.”
PERCEPTION [Easy: Success] - He didn’t use your name.
CONCEPTUALIZATION - At least he didn’t use Officer.
JEAN VICQUEMARE - Jean looks frustrated.
EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - He still doesn’t know how to react to Kim, but he knows he may have ruined any chance of having at least a barely amicable relationship with him outside of work.
The waitress brings a take-out bag and a check to the table for Jean. He hastily grabs some money in his pocket and shoves it into the waitress’s hands, grabs his bag, and marches out without so much as a glance.
YOU - You completely forget that there’s a plate of food in front of you. It turns out you ordered some kind of fried rice. It’s entirely possible this is actually Kim’s food, but no one’s going to attempt the switch now. Unsure of what to do, you decide to slowly start eating.
You’re not sure you can even taste the food, but your body seems to remember it was hungry. You notice Kim has decided to do the same, but you both avoid each other’s gazes, instead choosing to have a staring competition with your own plates. After a few minutes of enduring the insufferable sounds of chewing at, what seems like record-breaking decibel levels, you figure you should shatter the sound barrier.
You keep your head bowed, but shift your eyes up at Kim. “Thanks, uhhh, for sticking up for me,” you say quietly. You force out a weak smile.
KIM KITSURAGI - Kim glares at you for a moment, then snaps, “You’re lucky I did. I can only stick up for you so much before I, myself, become an embarrassment. I’d rather not compromise my new position at the 41st defending someone who has barely given me a reason to stick up for them.”
EMPATHY [Medium: Failure] - He’s so sick of your antics. He’s sick of helping you every time you fall off the wagon. He’s sick of you.
CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - He’s worried that Jean is right. That you really are a lost cause. That he’s been wasting so much of his time on you.
YOU - You’re stunned. “I’m…sorry”, you eventually manage to choke out.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Stop apologizing if you have no intention of fixing your behavior,” he chastises. “Jean can be…more than difficult,” he holds back, “but your own behavior earlier wasn’t exactly something to be proud of either.” He looks at you sternly then forcefully turns his face to the side.
He sighs. “I don’t know, Harry. Maybe he has some points,” he resigns.
DAMAGED MORALE
-1
DAMAGED HEALTH
-1
COMPOSURE [Legendary: failure] - You quickly look down, trying to hold back your tears, watching the food on your plate slowly become a sopping blur.
You can feel your organs rearrange themselves and you’re pretty sure your stomach is filling up with blood from the internal damage.
You try to force a bite to pretend nothing just happened, but your stomach immediately churns. The food doesn’t taste like the “best” food in town. In fact, you’re pretty sure you’ve never had a worse meal in your life.
ENDURANCE [Challenging: Success] - Your appetite went from 100 to -100 in a split second, but you somehow keep what little you ate from coming back up.
EMPATHY [Challenging: Failure] - Kim really truly hates you.
PAIN THRESHOLD - This is 1,000 times worse than anything Jean said.
ENDURANCE - You’re not going to survive this meal.
DRAMA - If the meal doesn’t kill you first, you should definitely kill yourself later.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - You should grab that bottle of Pale Aged Vodka that you hid in the ceiling of jail cell #4.
VOLITION - There’s nothing we can’t fix. You just need to say something. Commit to reparations. To action.
EMPATHY - You haven’t said a thing yet, Harry. Kim really needs you to say something.
SUGGESTION [Legendary: Failure] - The tension has made the air as thick as molasses. Any movement or talking would require tremendous effort.
ENDURANCE - Your body can’t take any more of this.
YOU - You both continue eating in silence. Well, for you, eating is a misnomer. More like, you peddle peas across your plate with a fork.
KIM KITSURAGI - Kim notices your pea peddling and eventually puts his fork down. The clink of the fork on his plate causes you to flinch, but you don’t forfeit your duties so easily. You can feel him boring into the back of your head, but you’re determined to separate every single pea from your rice and move them to the other side of your plate, one by one, the great migration of the Pea-ple.
After a few minutes of witnessing this historical migration, he takes a deep breath in and sighs deeply. “I need to get back to work,” he says tersely.
YOU - You nod without looking up from your plate. You will not stray from the noble task of freeing the Pea-ple from the oppressive regime of the Fried Rice Nation.
You can see in your peripheral that he places some money on the table as he shuffles out of the booth.
PERCEPTION [Easy: Success] - You see that he has left 20 reál. More than enough to pay for both of your lunches.
PAIN THRESHOLD - Another wrench in your gut.
You can indirectly see him standing, stalling at the edge of the booth for a bit, but the Pea-ple need you now more than ever, you can’t abandon them now. You hear him sigh again and he walks away, each step of his boots physically rattling in your chest as he leaves the restaurant.
